It began simply enough. I was iChatting with my colleague, 225 digital media specialist Lauren Sibley, when the conversation turned to her paralyzing fear of scary movies. They’re called scary movies for a reason, I thought. You’re supposed to be nervous. But like a lot of people, my sweet, chipper co-worker’s aversion to the horror genre goes far beyond nerves. As I unsympathetically joked with her about this, the idea of an experiment emerged.
I would give her a handful of borrowed horror movies and she would see how long she could watch them before turning off the TV in complete terror. Good times. I almost felt bad about coercing her to do this, so I gave her a bottle of wine to help her through.
In eight years, I’ve never had a guest blogger on The Movie Filter, but this idea just seemed right. Many of you out there may be like Lauren. Scary movies just aren’t for you, and yet, this week you’ll be tested to watch them by people you thought were your friends. To those of you in this predicament, take courage from Lauren’s bold experiment—if you dare.
Below is Lauren’s account of our great horror movie experiment:
When it comes to scary movies, I am a wimp. Who’s with me? The eerie music, things popping out from all over the place, ghosts, possessed children, crazed murderers, the list goes on and on. It’s like a chore for me to watch these movies. I prefer broad daylight and all of the lights in the entire house on, but we all know avid scary movie watchers never let that happen. Thankfully, when I began this challenge, I called the shots.
Step 1: Watch your movie during the day so you have time to bring your mind back to happy thoughts before you go to sleep. Thank God for my dream catcher. (Yes, I have one. It’s orange.)
Step 2: Make sure you are showered. Why? Because no matter WHAT, that movie will have some kind of scene involving a bathtub or shower with things crawling out of it or some decrepit old lady disguised as a beautiful temptress who, ultimately, wants to kill you. And who wants thoughts running through your mind when you’re trying to wash your hair? Not me.
Step 3: For goodness sake, lock all of the doors. While watching The Shining (Steps 1 and 2 complete), my back door was unlocked, and my roommate’s sister innocently walked in, and if I had quicker reflexes I would have hurled the nearest object straight at her. I did manage to scream, “WHO IS THAT?!”
I think I scared her more than she scared me.
Step 4: Never watch a scary movie alone. I feel like this doesn’t need an explanation. Safety in numbers, people.
Step 5: Pillows and blankets. I spend the majority of scary movies with these handy pals covering my face and/or entire body. Once I hear that “something scary is about to happen” music, I close my eyes. Can’t fool me. I’d rather watch the whole movie through my blanket anyway.
Like I said, it’s kind of a chore. But these rules help.
My coworkers were sweet enough to bombard me with several DVD options, some of which I couldn’t bare to even open. I’m sorry. If anyone cares about my already slightly irregular sleep patterns, I can’t watch any exorcism movies. So those and any like it were immediately out of the picture. Friends suggested The Omen, Carrie, The Ring, to name a few, but that’s too much for me. To my surprise, here are three movies I was able to watch all the way through to the credits. Beware spoilers:
The Shining: Oh, Jack Nicholson, I do not like you like this. I also did not appreciate everyone’s impression of possessed little Danny’s “Red Rum” voice after finding out I watched this movie for the first time. I definitely am that girl screaming at him saying, “NO Danny, do NOT go play with those twins. They are NOT your friends!” Overall, I was glad there was a somewhat happy ending. All of the ghosts get to live together and mother and child get away.
Amityville Horror: I really hope I don’t wake up at 3:15 a.m. ever. Any sound would make me think that a demon is coming after me. I did have to look up what actually was a “true story” because I tend to think haunted houses are real. Because THEY ARE.
Halloween: For some reason, I thought I was experienced enough to break one (and only one) of my rules and watch this one alone. Slight mistake. My roommate was very confused when she got home at 2 p.m. and not only was the door handle locked, but also the dead bolt and top latch. Plus, I had drawn all of the curtains. I can’t have some masked psychopath bust up in my apartment because I decided to watch a horror movie alone.
I really hoped this guy would leave his sister alone and she would realize he just wants to be loved so he could get help then they could live happily ever after. But, no. How many times did they have to shoot him? He was practically immortal! Also, I’d like to think if I was being chased in a pretty nice and crowded neighborhood like that one that SOMEBODY would hear me screaming at the top of my lungs and could save me. I am just saying.
In the end, I’m glad I survived these horrors, but, needless to say, when it comes to scary movie watching, I’ll be on a sabbatical.
—LAUREN SIBLEY
The Shining: Oh, Jack Nicholson, I do not like you like this. I also did not appreciate everyone’s impression of possessed little Danny’s “Red Rum” voice after finding out I watched this movie for the first time. I definitely am that girl screaming at him saying, “NO Danny, do NOT go play with those twins. They are NOT your friends!” Overall, I was glad there was a somewhat happy ending. All of the ghosts get to live together and mother and child get away.
Halloween: For some reason, I thought I was experienced enough to break one (and only one) of my rules and watch this one alone. Slight mistake. My roommate was very confused when she got home at 2 p.m. and not only was the door handle locked, but also the dead bolt and top latch. Plus, I had drawn all of the curtains. I can’t have some masked psychopath bust up in my apartment because I decided to watch a horror movie alone.
